I need your love today guys. Today is my 20th transition related surgery. My body and mind are tired, and it shows–it fucking shows.

I’ve done everything in my power to heal. I’ve given it time (it’s been almost 2 years), I’ve done scrapings, sooo many rectal CT’s with contrast, and finally the big surgery–the gracilis muscle flap which was pretty much supposed to be the fix all. That was January 31,2017.

Today is March 10th, 2017 and I’m going under yet again due to my 3rd complication from that surgery. This abscess is just not healing.

I need to know that I didn’t go through all of this for nothing. I’m making him scope my ass to let me know if I’m healed or not. I need to know. I’m going insane not knowing.

Wish me mother fucking luck. (at Keck Medicine of USC)